And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize