Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
