When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
