My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
