He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
