sarcasm needs its own font
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Congratulations! We have a period
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
