Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
