help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
