I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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