someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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