Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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