I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
