Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
