Me. At least after what I've been through.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
