im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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