i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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