Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize