I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
