how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
