very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
