I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
