is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize