Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
