State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
