I think i peed on brittanys purse
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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