think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
