wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
