she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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