she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize