She said her name was "party"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
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I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
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Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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