His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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