it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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