Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
