Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
