omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
