Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
