I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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