can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
