i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
