Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
