WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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