drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
