Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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