i used baking grease as lip gloss
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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