I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
