there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
