i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
