He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
