Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
