Duck Duck Cougar?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
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