if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
