you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
