Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
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If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
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You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My legs feel like baby dolphins
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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