I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
