well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
