Buhtt sex?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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