It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
