oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
