Someone shit on the floor
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
