I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
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she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
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I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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