READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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