she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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