me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
