yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize