I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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