umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
