I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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