I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize