It's a beautiful day for a hangover
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize