the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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