I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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