The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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